The last 3 days have given me some sort of realization... comprehension... understanding... appreciation of what I’ve gone through and what I’m about to come back to.  I had Thursday and Friday off from school and I think I skyped with more people than I have the whole time I’ve been here.  Wasn’t really planned, but I enjoyed it a lot.  I’ve never actually liked Skype - in fact I’ve never liked talking on the phone either - and somehow seeing someone’s face on the screen is just kinda weird.

I had some really fun conversations.  Some with close friends, some with friends I haven’t seen in a long time.  (Long time meaning longer than the 7 months I’ve been here.)  I talked with John and Melissa Lubke - isn’t that weird to say?! - and it was so fun because Melissa has been HERE.  She knows the people I’m talking about, and it was nice to discuss a serious need that I’ve discovered here that I wish so badly could be filled.  And yet I didn’t realize the need until I was talking to them.

I talked with Brett, and then with a whole room full of people who joined him.  And that’s when I got REALLY excited about coming home.  Not like I wasn’t excited before, but I’d kind of forgotten about the whole group dynamic thing.  The ‘college kids’ dynamic.  Everyone all talking at the same time, interrupting each other, singing Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow at random moments (thanks Doug), the inside jokes....everything.  Seems kind of silly because I hang out with a bunch of people every day who talk at the same time and interrupt each other, and yet, it’s so different.

Today during church, the speaker said something that somehow made me think of the quote I got from Tina’s blog when I first came here.  “God won’t let any experience go to waste.”  I wrote it down, and now I look at that quote every day - and it’s brought incredible strength.  There are parts of my experience that I’ve wanted to lock up and not talk about.  Stuff I’ll just call ‘the past’ and not bother anyone else with.  But somehow, during the last 3 days, from conversations with people at home, with a lot of thought.....somehow I’ve put it in perspective.  And it’s all a part of this experience, this story.

Who’s to say my perspective won’t change any time soon, but I am content with the perspective I’ve got as of today, and that’s a first.  In fact, in my head during church, I even went so far as to make a general outline of how I would speak on such an experience.  I’m glad I didn’t leave in January, back when everything came to a ugly head, because now I can leave with so many more positives.

When they sang Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow in church today, I started laughing, and people looked at me funny.  But they would’ve laughed too, if they had just pictured David Bowen, Jeff and Zach Gilbert, Dave and Doug Wheeler, and James Oliver singing Praise God From Whom All Blessings Flow in the middle of Dutch Blitz.